| BIRTHDAY: |
- ????
-
(FOUND IN DUMPSTER BEHIND
LIQUOR STORE)
|
| HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING? |
AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER. OH THE
GUITAR? ABOUT 20 YEARS. |
| EQUIPMENT: |
CONDOMS, HANDCUFFS, DUCT TAPE,
WHATEVER'S HANDY. OH YEAH, MARK BOUGHT ME A SWEET OVATION
ACOUSTIC.
|
| PAST PROJECTS & BANDS: |
I STARTED OUT AS A TEACHER.
SOME OF MY STUDENTS INCLUDED; LENNY KRAVITZ, CHRISSIE HYNDE &
THAT GUY THAT USED TO PLAY FOR SPARE CHANGE IN NORTH STATION. I HELPED
JIMMY PAGE TUNE UP HIS TECHNIQUE BEFORE THAT WHOLE PAGE & PLANT THING. I
PREFER TO REMAIN BEHIND THE SCENES. I DID A LOT OF WRITING IN THE
80'S. I WROTE SOME STUFF FOR FLOCK OF SEAGULLS, WHAM AND
PETER GABRIEL, YEAH, SLEDGEHAMMER, THAT WAS ONE OF MINE. |
| MUSICAL INFLUENCES: |
I GREW UP ON LAWRENCE WELK. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LOVE ROCK &
ROLL, BUT MY HEART WILL ALWAYS BE DANCING TO A GOOD POLKA ! |
| WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO LATELY? |
I'M REALLY INTO YANNI & KENNY G.
RIGHT NOW. THOSE GUYS ARE WAY
UNDERRATED. |
| WHAT'S THE BEST THING ABOUT PLAYING IN A BAND? |
LUGGING THE GEAR !!! SURE
PLAYING FOR AN AUDIENCE IS COOL AND
EVERYTHING. IN REALITY I JUST
CAN'T WAIT UNTIL ITS OVER SO I CAN
CARRY ALL THE SHIT BACK TO THE
TRAILER. THE PENGUINS ARE NICE
TOO. A LOT OF REALLY HOT
PENGUINS ARE INTO MUSICIANS. |
| WHAT'S THE WORST THING ABOUT PLAYING IN A BAND? |
IT WOULD HAVE TO BE THE CHICKS
! WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS ! I'M A BUSY GUY, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ALL
THESE CHICKS HANGIN' ALL OVER ME AFTER A SHOW. COME ON ! ORAL SEX, I
DON'T THINK SO SWEETIE ! THERE'S PROBABLY SOMETHING GOOD ON THE SCI FI
CHANNEL. |
| FAVORITE MOVIES: |
SINGING IN THE RAIN, EARNEST GOES TO
IRAQ, DOWN ON THE FARM |
| FAVORITE TV SHOWS: |
IRON CHEF, MARTHA STEWART LIVING,
THOSE SCRAMBLED PORN CHANNELS, IF YOU SHAKE YOUR HEAD AND BLINK YOUR EYES, YOU
CAN KINDA SEE WHAT'S GOING ON. |
| FAVORITE SPORTS TEAMS: |
ANY OF THOSE FEMALE SPEED SKATING
TEAMS FROM EASTERN EUROPE. MY GOD, YOU'LL NEVER FIND AN ASS THAT
NICE HERE IN THE STATES ! AND THOSE SPANDEX OUTFITS THEY WEAR, YOU
CAN ALMOST SEE THEIR TESTICLES. |
| FAVORITE FOODS: |
SARDINES, GARLIC BREAD, & ONION BAGELS |
| FAVORITE RESTAURANT(S): |
TACO BELL |
| FAVORITE BEER OR DRINK: |
IT'S ALL GOOD ! |
| FAVORITE COLOR: |
PAISLEY |
| WHAT PISSES YOU OFF? |
EXTRA LARGE CONDOMS. YEAH RIGHT !
I'VE WRITTEN THOUSANDS OF LETTERS AND INITIATED SEVERAL BILLS THROUGH CONGRESS
AND THEY STILL DON'T MAKE THEM BIG ENOUGH. THANK GOD FOR SURGICAL GLOVES !
THE NICE THING ABOUT THAT IS YOU GET FIVE RESERVOIR TIPS INSTEAD OF ONE. |
| NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS, 2005 SUPERBOWL CHAMPS? |
I DON'T REALLY FOLLOW THE SPORT OF BOWLING
THAT CLOSELY. |
| WHO ARE YOUR HEROES? |
-
MARK CERASUOLO
-
PEE WEE HERMAN & GEORGE MICHAEL
|
| GINGER OR MARYANNE? |
THE SKIPPER |
| FAVORITE QUOTE, YOURS OR SOMEONE ELSE'S: |
"JESUS
#*%$ CHRIST, THAT THINGS NEVER
GONNA FLUSH !" |
